In conclusion, I need to pray.

So STEM members officially came back and that really made me happy. I had withdrawl syndrome from Tina Oh the most. I never really missed a friend as much as i missed Tina for the one month period that she was gone. And therefore i came to this conclusion about her, i can never not be friends with Tina. She is the nicotine to my cigarette. Love you girl.

So i IM'd eric sometime ago to just check up on him and to see how he was doing because now he is offically on his own in Thailand. What i didn't expect was for me to go so in depth about my worries with life..but hey he was willing to listen and give advice so what the hell. I think for me, school is one of my major worries, maybe its something that i may idolize without even knowing because i end up thinking about it so much. School is something that i need to finish within a certain amount of time so that i can finally start living "life". To go to University of Arizona or to not go and stay in california and go to schools here. Part of me says leave, cause its college and college experience only happens once, and on top of that im still young to go explore the world..or maybe just arizona. U of A has a really good nursing program and i can honestly see myself going there. Campus is great, and surpisingly there is diversity. I thought there were only white people in arizona but i was wrong. U OF A SCHOOL OF NURSING (quite lovely)

But im stuck, im stuck in this confused rutt. If i decide to go to arizona i know for a fact my walk with God is not going to be as good as it should be. I told eric this, i said that a part of me wants to just finish school and start living life and then come back to God when im all done with school and have my carrer set. But eric replied with something that made me think. He said something like "once people leave the church and have thing going for them then people usually dont return". I would be putting school before God and thats something i've been taught not to do. The conslusion that we came to was, my lack of prayer. My lack of faith in Him once again. I need to pray, seriously. Luckily i made his prayer list! wahoooo:)

Andddd another thing that i told him was how i wanted to go to thailand next year for stem. I remember David bass telling me about thailand and the mission work that stem does there. And somehing inside me was moved, and i had the urge to go. Only if it was that easy, I have repsonsibilities. Unfortunetly i cant just up and leave for a month and expect to come back and everything be OK. I have car payments and bills bills bills, therefore i need to work. If i miss out on work for all that time, i wont be able to pay any of my bills and my car will get repossed fershure! Anddd the conclusion we came too..i need to pray for this if i really want to go. I honestly think God is trying to tell me that i need to pray.