OMG you're not going to be a nurse??!

Well, let me explain myself before the whole world freaks out. As some of you may know, i was lucky enough to get into a private nursing school this summer. But, all good things must come to an end. Yes, my life dream, and goal was to be a nurse but in life you cant always get what you want. I think the greater lesson learned from this decision is being able to let go. So let me explain myself so that you can hopefully get a glimpse of my logic behind everything. As being admitted into a private school, its automatic that its gunna be a wallet raper. But i was able to look past it because you i would be able to finish is 2 1/2 years. I had my mind set that i would do nothing but study and turn into a hermit, i was ready! But of course nothing is smooth sailing in my life, not surprised. I was having trouble with my loans for that school, and I DONT KNOW WHY, last time i checked my credit score was above average and i didnt do anything to mess it up so it should have been just fine. I tried to co-sign with my sister which also has a very good credit score but sure enough that got shot down. Before i heard of the 2nd rejection i was already thinking if this was the road that God really wanted me on. I then told myself that if the loan didnt go thru the second time then i would withdrawal from the school all together. And then the phone rings the next day telling me of my rejection once again. But the loans weren't the only reasons why i chose to withdrawal. There is a guy in Next that actually goes to that nursing school and he really made me think about going to that school. Everything he was telling me about that school made me really hate their policy. Stupid of me to just go along with everything without even doing research, grrr now that i think back on it and it was such a stupid move on my part. He tells me basically that he hates it, and that i should save myself-___- what a welcoming feeling. Its expensive, classes are only 9 weeks, its harder than most nursing schools, andddd if you fail twice then your kicked out. Lets be reasonable here...lets say that i attend that school for about a year and i just so happen to fail my 2nd class..then that leaves me with expensive loans that i now have to pay for classes that are now useless to me cause none of the credits can be transferred. The con outweigh the pros so much. I dont want to have to go to school walking on thin ice like that, sure its good to think positive but come on now, the real world isnt always going to be butterflies and unicorns, people are going to fail and life isnt going to be easy. With that being said i knew that school wasnt it for me and i chose to move on. What now? Go back to cypress college and grind out some of the science classes that i need to finish? With just the thought of that, it really made my stomach churn. I really really thought hard, science and i never got along. For my friends that heard me out and seen my cry for the past two years because of my science classes know how much of a headache it was for me. I forced science into my life, i made myself believe that i was good at it because i was holding onto that one idea of becoming a nurse. I held on to it even when my grades were failing me. I tried to dust myself off and try and try again but i know now that you cant always force something into you life. My sky high GPA had hit rock bottom ever since i started taking my core science classes. Why not shoot for a career where my GPA has something to show for? It was time to be honest with myself and come to a final decision. Then a prayer came into my head, at the Next summer retreat the guest pastor prayed for me and i told him this before hand "Pastor Alvin, i'll be starting nursing school in November please pray that God will really guide in the right direction", he then lays a hand on me and closes his eyes and a few moments later he tells me this, "God wants me to tell you that whatever you do God is going to use you and that its up to you if you want to do nursing, it doesnt matter to God." AHHH freak, here i was thinking that God had surely set me on the nursing path but now i know that he has my back no matter what i do. I think to be honest at that i moment i knew i was going to give up on nursing. Honestly, even though i got into this nursing school this summer, there was something inside of me that just wasnt sure...le sighhh. Enough is enough and i think that ive had enough. I dont think i can travel on this road anymore, i don't want to force myself to like something that im not compatible with. Its time to move on and go the other road.