In a state of confusion.

I have come to terms with myself with my physiology class. I have dropped yet another science class. I dont have the courage to tell my mom. She has so much faith in me and to tell her that i couldnt do it this semester would be like a punch to her face. I mean it makes me feel like crap on a stick i don't want to bring her down as well. It sucks cause we have a pretty honest and open relationship where i could tell her my struggles...but not this time. At this point my transcript is filled with W's. How did this come to be? I started my first 2 years of college determined to finish and had nothing but good grades. I feel so lost in a way, sometimes i think maybe nursing might not be the path that God wants me to take? But that can't possibly be, this is something that I WANT to do. I thought about it and there is absolutly nothing that i want to do with myself. I enjoy the sight of blood, i like to see people get hurt it hopes that i can help them feel better, i wouldnt mind seeing a skull cracked open or a heart transplant being taken place. BUT i struggle so much in the science classes. They are so hard and i dont want to compare myself to another bu i cant help but think "why is that person getting good grades and not me". Yes i understand that not everyone is the same, but i know for a fact that i am not weak, but these days i feel like the battles has been lost. I feel like i bring myself down way more than i have ever in my life and i just cant help it. This feeling really sucks, i need to get good grades and i need to get out of community college already. I feel like im rotting away, and i feel like i am not being productive what so ever. Honestly i wonder if i'll ever get into nursing school, competition is up the ass intense and here i am with my now whackass transcript. URgHHH frustrated to the max here folks. I dont know why i cant seem to find the strength to find myself again and have that fire to succeed! Where did it go??!